This morning

Today I woke up and just laid in the bed staring at the ceiling for an hour.....There are so many different things going on in my life that are getting in the way of happy thoughts. I am not one to get easily stressed about anything...kinda...but when thoughts of school, work, family, and the money that is being put into this and that...I sit in my room on some occasions and think about what is I want to do in life....and all I can come up with is a blank white screen.....i just want to be a free spirit....moving on my own terms. When people ask me what it is I want to do in life...I usually give them a generic, college student type answer....but the truth is....I want to fill in that blank white screen with various colored paints provided by my experiences of the world... learning new ideas and languages that will enrich and define the colors ....There is so much more to this world than the walls of Gavilan College or the walls of UNM in Albuquerque, New Mexico.....and I want to taste that...grip it in my hand and never let it go...